Christmastime mood+ Dead week =

while working on a group project in a full computer lab and a guy came in ans asked if there was a open computer and then after being told that there wasn't one he responded with "so there is no room for me in the inn?" the man behind the desk told him "there are some other computer labs across the building" the guy then responded with "It's ok, I will just find a lonely stable"

FINALS ARE WHEN?!?!?

FINALS!!! are coming and FAST!!! This is how my next two weeks look like
Cramming all next week. Friday, Saturday nights are performance nights for the Instate choir have to be there by 5:15 and I'm gonna be there till 9:30 maybe.

Then My USU1360 and THEA 1013 are both on Wednesday after next week. starting at 7:30 am.

Jar of Hearts

I found this song the other day and for now its really fitting for me now. Its called Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri.

Lyrics:

i know i can’t take one more step towards you
cause all thats waiting is regret
don’t you know i’m not your ghost anymore
you lost the love i loved the most

i learned to live, half alive
and now you want me one more time

who do you think you are?
runnin’ ’round leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
tearing love apart
you’re gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
don’t come back for me
who do you think you are?

i hear you’re asking all around
if i am anywhere to be found
but i have grown too strong
to ever fall back in your arms

ive learned to live, half alive
and now you want me one more time

who do you think you are?
runnin’ ’round leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
and tearing love apart
you’re gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
don’t come back for me
who do you think you are?

it took so long just to feel alright
remember how to put back the light in my eyes
i wish i had missed the first time that we kissed
cause you broke all your promises
and now you’re back
you don’t get to get me back


who do you think you are?
running around leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
and tearing love apart
you’re gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
so don’t come back for me
dont come back at all

My Life is a Dream

I feel like my life is a dream,

or some movie on the big screen.

and right now the time is paused

while the snow at me naugs.

if there was some way to wake up

before my life breaks like a drooped cup

there is a numbness that can't subside

while I know that I'm being capsized

I feel like my life is just a dream,

or some movie on the big screen.

and right now the time is paused

while the snow at me naugs.

Oh Day

to day has been up, down and lower. I just wish that one day I can look back and know that it is in the past, that this was just a rough moment in my life.

Friend Quotes

"A friend is someone who cares
Someone who is always there

A friend is someone special
Someone who you can tell everything

A friend is someone who will never betray you
No matter who doesn't like you

A friend is someone you can trust
Someone kind of like you"

"A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else." - Len Wein

"True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable". - D.T. Gentry

The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers, and cities; but to know someone here and there who thinks and feels with us, and though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden. – Goethe

We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over. So in a series of acts of kindness there is, at last, one which makes the heart run over. - James Boswell

Today

Make shift knee brace on left leg from ice-skating,

A hole in my right arm from giving blood,

A bruise on my right shoulder blade from passing out,

Head ace from not sleeping a whole lot last night.

Hot chocolate for a cold day,

A friends kind words when my heart is heavy

A little girls laugh to let me know that God still thinks of me,

And an old seminary teacher to let me know I'm still loved.

Relationships

If you are in a Relationship that doesn't help you become the person you want to be, then you're with the wrong one.

I always get: right guy wrong time. wrong guy wrong time. wrong guy right time. when will I ever find the right guy at the right time?

I think I know the one for me

It is kind of inevitable you see

We were both friends in high school

That was I time that we were so cool

He fell for me but the timing wasn't right

And for now we just play polite

One day when we both grow up

We will joke about it over a cup

Now I can't help but think of him

Almost with out him life seams grimm

One day we will sit under some old tree

And I'll tell him that he is the one for me

Humans vs. Zombies

the Zombie Apocalypse is here. it has taken USU campus by storm! it started on Monday and has been going strong for this whole week. humans have Nerf guns to stun the zombies who's numbers are increasingly growing. As of this moment only 334 humans are left with 274 hungry zombies after them. Already 204 people have died of the break out (meaning they were turned into zombies and didn't eat for 48 hours) I'm just sad that I didn't hear about the game until it was to late. next time I will be joining the the end of the world. ready to kick some zombie but.

sad

I've reached the point that i want to cry, but i can't. why can't i cry? and I have also reached the point that i think i need a 2 by 4 to the face.

dang...

I keep checking my email to hear about my internship with Disney but it hasn't even been one week!! Then just yesterday I find out that registration for next semester classes start next week!!! what on earths name am I going to do?

You know what would be amazing? If they send me an email before then end of this week, or before the end of today! then I won't have to worry about sighing up or not signing up for classes.

Intership?!

its been a while since i posted, but here is the lowdown. I have applied for the Disney College Program and could be (if i'm accepted) living down in Florida by Jan. ( I HOPE I GET IN!!!) I had my phone interview just yesterday, and my Dad being a parent listen though the door to see how it went. he said i did vary well and they would really be "rodents" if they didn't accept you. they told me i would hear back in 4-6 weeks.... 4-6 stinking WEEKS!!! HOW WILL I BE ABLE TO WAIT THAT LONG?!?!?
life is over all good, I'm in the awkward stage of a break up with my BF i meet here on campus. broke it off because we both need to focus on school and he is dealing with a lot right now. (no idea what that is but yeah). and he is still working on going on a mission. He has so far been the only guy i have truly felt myself around. I have been able to talk to him about anything and not worry out anything. I'm going to miss our conversations, and just time spent together.

stupid cold!!!

today i didn't want to get up, the cold that i have been fighting against is winning. I'm to the point they I'm just laying flat out and don't want to do anything. the feeling that you just want to pretend that there is now world side and you can just sleep the day away. May my day-quill take off the top off of the misery i feel.

naps are a girls best friend

Naps.... I look back at the times that i hated naps and think why? Now naps are college students pride and joy! I went to bed late sitting there cold in my bed. (my electric blanket stopped working) ). woke up today realizing I slept though my first class I was so sleepy! (side note: I have a midterm tomorrow in the class i slept though) then after all my classes I meet up with my boyfriend in the Student Center where he was working on another song he has written. (side note: AMAZING SONG WRITER!!!). I snuggled up next to him and fell asleep. I half work up to him stroking my hair. then latter today realizing that i didn't have work, I took another nap. I love naps... especially when you know that the one you care about is right there, and cares for you too.

weekend!!!

i had to plan a meal for Sunday for over 80 people and cook it... it was crazy. today i was told that my Dad is going to be released form i calling he has in my church (i'm LDS by the way if you don't know me) he is a Bishop and is an air line pilot so he is never home. when telling a 2 friends though chat the "guess what!" they both responded with "your engaged". what is with now being in college that people think that your right about to tie the knot with the next guy you see?

thing about my dad never being home, I never home. I leave at ether 7:50 or 8:30 and get back at like 7:00 or 11:00 at night (depending if i'm working or not). and sad to say I may just say it.... My parents... are right.... (that tasted like vinegar coming out). they are right to make me do a little work around the house. (do the dishes one night a week, clean my room, bathroom, and hallway once a week also.) I got in a big discussion with them tonight about freedom in college and living at home. they used logic agent me. (stupid logic)

sleep?

I don't have the best sleeping habits, last night I went to bed at 1:30 and got up at 5:30 to finish the assignment that was keeping me up till 1:30. I was so close to falling asleep in class, it was crazy. But i have to say the best feeling in the world is falling sleep knowing that someone who cares for you will be watching out while you dream.

Almost half way done with first semester!

I am now an undeclared business major at USU! I'm hoping to get into marketing, but there is soooo much math involved. I dislike math.

the First 2 weeks

it has been crazy! and I love it! I love being around campus and the bizsy feel. I got a Boyfriend now! I now it has come up fast but we just made the connection. I have been able to meet a lot more people and it has been amazing!!! True the school work is a little hard to keep up with but over all I'm keeping up with it all. I so hope that I can live away from home and up on campus, I'm itching for freedom.

How to begin

I am not average girl going into collage.
1. I'm going to be living at home for the first year. ( campus is 15 min. from my house) (it's cheaper this way)
2. I have NO AP or concurrent enrollment credits to start with.
3. So far I have no $$ aide. ( beside my parents that is)
4. I'm starting out with no idea what to go into!
And 5. I have a learning disability.

I don't think I'm going to get anyone to read this and u don't really care. I'm not one to read random blogs of people I don't know, and I'm not planning to tell anyone about my blog. This is going to be more of just a public journal. A way for me to say what I feel and still have hope that someone might just hear me, with out knowing me. I'm going to try to stay away from names. I will use code names for people. There is so much that is ahead for me and so much that lays behind. All I can do is go onward.